Happy's IEP

Not really looking forward to that crap today. IEP= Individualized Education Plan. But I am not happy with hers. Her processing and memory impairments are not apparent in the 2nd grade classroom setting and therefore there is a great difference in the girl we are discussing from home to school.

I tell myself that is fine, and when they give her greater independence and less structure- such as at home, they will be surprised to learn that she is not really where they think she is!
The report card was downright false, saying she tells time and communicates well. Really? Have you talked to her lately? Whatever, I will be supportive of her education and just advocate for her to receive services as they are offered to her. I have fought for what she gets as of now. Last year they were not going to test her in communication.
I said they were. They did. The parents is always right, if they are not sure then call in the big dogs. I like big dogs! But Happy is a tricky kid and I understand that her expectations right now are not identifying her specific and quirky challenges. Executive functioning...4th/5th grade? I hate waiting, but unless I want to do it myself I have to just sit and wait. Sit down and shut up is what I have coined the district's roadblocks to qualifications. I can do that, but someday I will not have to and they will see what we see and my baby will keep making improvements with our without their constant understanding of her issues.

So Lue isn't crazy about IEPs but I like numbers and feeling like I am not alone against them, maybe I should see if a PCA will go with me. Lue says he isn't following the meetings always anyhow. I thought it would be good because we have Lua's IEP meeting (they require an annual meeting) next Monday. Thought it would stir up his intellect. Then I decided fine, I am so tired of orchastrating child care and what have you, why should I feel bad of asking my inlaws to babysit? They live less than a mile away, you'd think I could get them weekly. But I hate asking. Lue would rather not go and so I am compensating that idea negatively justifying that he usually doesn't contribute much and of course says the wrong things because I am perfect. haha. I guess it doesn't matter. Right now is not much chance to get anything more for her, so I am fine. I am going to pull out my reading charts they have been half-ass providing me. According to the IEP they are non-compliant as they are not sending them weekly.
Why did I fight for the language to get those weekly reports and then not do anything with them? Well not sure. But for todays meeting I will whip them out to show that their weekly goal of hers to gain improvement and the regression with stagnant weeks does not put her anywhere near they intended her skills to be, so what are they going to do about it?
Likely nothing.
We'll see how today goes. Wonder if I will make it through the meeting without crying about my baby they want to slip on through the cracks with bullshit excuses. Sorry for my language...lack of better terms?!
Have a Stellar Day, my couple readers...if any...to the open space of the unknown where i reach my words and tone to the underlying presence my Lord captures my feelings and cradles me kind, with room to grow and leave behind the pain the tears and all my fears. in the end I will surrender to the highest authority who created the world, beginning and end, alpha omega, in the middle of my little mess I remember how much I am blessed... THANK YOU JESUS!