One Down

One down makes a huge difference. Especially when it is one of the tougher ones! Fuzzy is on a trip with school and it has been nice to have less fighting because of his ocd! We met with a psychiatrist and he was started on zoloft, after nothing at 12.5 and nothing at that doubled, I am feeling confident to discontinue it. We didn't fill out the paperwork and forgot it on our weekend trip, so he is pretty much off that . I don't really think there is a med to help, but might discuss this further with the doc. Then I am not in favor of the therapy sessions either...really- with the DCD are we going to get anywhere anyhow? It'd probably be better to save the energy and use that time for some 1 on 1 anyhow.

Buzzy was convinced that he was bit by a poisonous spider last night and told me that even daddy long legs are poisonous. Yikes, he said that his hand was numb, then pointed to a knuckle and then said it was (with his fingers, about an 1/8 inch) just a little bit numb. I wonder if he went to the nurse when he got to school, I could tell that he didn't trust me that there were no poisonous spiders here.

On the note of school- Buzzy came home with a planets presentation board. Funny thing was that one of the points under each planet was how many earth days their years are. I couldn't help but feel objective as he never remembers how many days are in an earth year. The last time he guessed 7 or 8. Now I wonder if the science project was confusing him, as Mercury has 8 days. Atleast now I know that when he answers that may be correct somewhere in the universe. Again, my satisfaction levels are not too high with public schools at this moment. Home schooling would be so sad though, I love that darn bus!!

So Fuzzy gets home tonight, Buzzy was wondering if I was getting him at 5am this morning at about 630am. I said see, this is why you won't stay home by yourself, you don't understand time. Like is that supposed to be a secret? He was full gripe load yesterday when he had to go with to the girls dance because Lue had a long day and couldn't be home in time. Buzzy said, why can't I stay home alone?! I said because you are not staying home alone, you don't even know what time it is. He then was mad at me, saying he does. So is it unfair of me to bring this to his attention then in the revealing moments of his deficits? Maybe I will never know, if done lovingly then I just hope it supports his understanding of our desires for his safety and well being. It's not like we are making things up!

one more day

Spring break with the boys, only Monday left yet. I love school so much, I can't believe I consider home schooling. When would I get a break? It is funny, because with their developmental delays sometimes they act 2,4,6,or 8; yet, sometimes they can be age appropriate. But that is not so often!

Yesterday Buzzy had a PCA help him prepare a hotdish for supper. I think the 3 hours that took wasn't worth the reward of not having to cook dinner. How selfless do we have to be? His advantages possibly outweigh my disadvantages, but seriously? Hogging up my kitchen for 3 hours, I wish there were a test kitchen he could use or something. The day before she had taken him to the store and he bought the ingredients we didn't have. He was so giddy when he came home. I struggle with finding compassion sometimes because the father of lies tells me they are annoying. But how sad is that if your own mother finds you annoying and somedays it feels like they can't do anything right. Yuck! That is my problem, and I cannot make it theirs. Fake it til you make it. I do love them more than words and am passionate for their success, but so many barriers with their communication, cognitive and processing skills, I would offer that I wasn't really cut out for this. I know that God chose me to be their mom and he knew what types of challenges I would bear, and by the power of his name my reward will be in heaven!
I am free in Christ, and even though I would ask if he ever was surrounded by retarded people all day, likely not; however, to show love and be love are what I am called to do- even when it is hard!
Something else on my mind, is the international vs. domestic adoption opinions I have. I think I will do a post on my other blog to discuss this, but many people from our church are all worried about kids on reese's rainbow and one little girl from russia costs 33k! Can you imagine! And I know so much more than these kindhearted people, that she likely has FASD and will be such a challenge and financially too. No secondary coverage there folks! At one point, if it wasn't for our secondary medical coverage our therapy bills would have exceeded 900$ a month! Now, the state doesn't occur any expense either since they have to write it off- that is why dentists don't like MA and they are in a different category then medical professionals that cannot deny patients.
So there are some rants for now...and looking forward to my little routines to come on Tuesday after a weekend and only 2 more days of my boys here looking for direction.

Therapy news, all 3 are done. Buzzy capped out with skills are 8-9 years old (mind you he is nearly 15,) Happy as well- after over 6 years of therapy it just isn't helping on those areas that we will likely forever accomodate. I dropped Fuzzy because I don't want to use my PCA hours with just him in the car for an hour and we are doing some home programming now.

Happy Friday!! Blessings to the world!!