I hope that our decision to take in my s-i-l and her 4 kids will positively impact everyone involved. Because it isn't easy! And if you are 38 and have such a history of unhealthy relationships and emotional instability, I guess this is called foster familying. She is at court today. I just hope it doesn't turn into me telling her that the kids can't/shouldn't go back "home" until school is out. This was their 5th transfer THIS YEAR!!
That was my underlying motivation here, because once again they were in a (self-induced) crisis and they needed a place to go.
It is nice to see interactions with her and my adopted trio though, they are her half-siblings. It is funny though, because we feel like we are convincing her of their disabilities sometimes. In time, I think she has the capacity to understand our concerns. We sometimes get bogged down with labels and the deeper thinking once trained and informed with the psychology of traumatized kids. Her kids are actually traumatized too and her time is up for them to be in foster care and they have had a rough road. SO, this is all in love that we may encourage, model, and support her in being a strong woman able to parent her children and care for herself emotionally as well. That might be impractical and against all odds, but at least we can't say we didn't try...right?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
testing testing 123
or not, our sermon series is on radical life. and funny that we were YESTERDAY asked to take in Lue's older sister and her 4 kids. Like we don't have enough going on here. but the answer didn't take long. what's the point here, anyhow?
serve one another, shelter the orphans (and their mother,) feed the poor, selfless, uncomfortable, sharing, caring, give give give.
except some just take take take, but that is not the issue. right now it is what needed to happen, more for those 5 than our 10- but i know that God has a plan for that greater number too- so unfold it!
i am hoping that it will not be more than a couple months, and in the grande scheme of things, not a big deal. i am secretly thinking this is good to see where we are at for adding a few kids down the road:)
lilme immediately cleared her closet and was eager to inform me that she knew where blondie's (her 8 year old cousin sleeping under her lofted bed) socks and under ware would go and where her pj's would go too. yep, takes after her momma. the other day she said that, in pretend play (of course) that she "adopted a few kids from africa and has a few people visiting from colombia." haha where does she come up with this stuff?
i love imagination!!
serve one another, shelter the orphans (and their mother,) feed the poor, selfless, uncomfortable, sharing, caring, give give give.
except some just take take take, but that is not the issue. right now it is what needed to happen, more for those 5 than our 10- but i know that God has a plan for that greater number too- so unfold it!
i am hoping that it will not be more than a couple months, and in the grande scheme of things, not a big deal. i am secretly thinking this is good to see where we are at for adding a few kids down the road:)
lilme immediately cleared her closet and was eager to inform me that she knew where blondie's (her 8 year old cousin sleeping under her lofted bed) socks and under ware would go and where her pj's would go too. yep, takes after her momma. the other day she said that, in pretend play (of course) that she "adopted a few kids from africa and has a few people visiting from colombia." haha where does she come up with this stuff?
i love imagination!!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Distractions at school
So Buzzy made a quick dash to his room before bundling up for school, but on the way out I had to take headphones and a pack of batteries, which then he stomped away. Last week the boys case manager had called and asked that they not have distracting items at school, as unknown to me, Buzzy brought a dead cell phone he found on the street t-th and she had finally told them they couldn't even talk about it in her room. Haha, someone gets it!
Until someone gets it, we often feel judged and perceived as being too harsh or critical of their interests. No! Their interests drive everyone INSANE!! So I am not sure what the headphones and batteries are for, but we will have to have the conversation again that school is for learning and they do not bring stuff with them. I hope he had a walkman or something, but I didn't have time to find out, so my only choice was to eliminate the obvious. Batteries and cords, cell phones, and gadgets have an emotional hold on these boys! It is just bizarre! I attribute Buzzy's to the ASD; however, Fuzzy- thinking that is more trauma related or RAD- I guess those same could be true for Buzzy. Oh well, don't know, just deal with it!
Happy has lost another glove, and unfortunately it is her 2nd right one, or she would have two beautiful gloves to wear, just not together! Her lack of concern to her possessions is frustrating because I feel like I should never give her anything new or nice. Cutting holes in things, sitting in dark wet things with no second thoughts, crawling around on the floor, marker/paint/glue all over, stickers hiding on through the wash...you know how that ruins clothes. So anyhow, she flew out the door without gloves today. Nice. Minnesota Nice.
She is getting discharged from speech therapy that she has had for 6 years. Don't know why, but it makes me sad. I guess it feels like there is little hope for her deficits. Granted, she has many skills and I know she can do good at life; however, there are some significant glitches in her processing, memory, and communication that will forever challenge her. We are going to address the attention, as therapy suggested and next week we will be meeting with our doctor to try something for the ADHD. I am totally in favor, as she is such a little Fuzzy that I think it will curb some of the ODD tendencies as well and I hope she can escape such future with.
Lue has broke, and in his anti-med theories, has come to terms with Fuzzy's ODD and asked that we medicate him. Going from sober to 2 on meds? I guess so. It does not define who they are as people, just might help us through this phase in life, as for Fuzzy, it is hard to be level headed with his only goal is to throw you off from that. And Happy, well it might help her neurological busyness tone down, as the Audiologist said. I am willing to use medication to see progress and hopefully it will be true progress and medication will not be a long-term thing here.
Until someone gets it, we often feel judged and perceived as being too harsh or critical of their interests. No! Their interests drive everyone INSANE!! So I am not sure what the headphones and batteries are for, but we will have to have the conversation again that school is for learning and they do not bring stuff with them. I hope he had a walkman or something, but I didn't have time to find out, so my only choice was to eliminate the obvious. Batteries and cords, cell phones, and gadgets have an emotional hold on these boys! It is just bizarre! I attribute Buzzy's to the ASD; however, Fuzzy- thinking that is more trauma related or RAD- I guess those same could be true for Buzzy. Oh well, don't know, just deal with it!
Happy has lost another glove, and unfortunately it is her 2nd right one, or she would have two beautiful gloves to wear, just not together! Her lack of concern to her possessions is frustrating because I feel like I should never give her anything new or nice. Cutting holes in things, sitting in dark wet things with no second thoughts, crawling around on the floor, marker/paint/glue all over, stickers hiding on through the wash...you know how that ruins clothes. So anyhow, she flew out the door without gloves today. Nice. Minnesota Nice.
She is getting discharged from speech therapy that she has had for 6 years. Don't know why, but it makes me sad. I guess it feels like there is little hope for her deficits. Granted, she has many skills and I know she can do good at life; however, there are some significant glitches in her processing, memory, and communication that will forever challenge her. We are going to address the attention, as therapy suggested and next week we will be meeting with our doctor to try something for the ADHD. I am totally in favor, as she is such a little Fuzzy that I think it will curb some of the ODD tendencies as well and I hope she can escape such future with.
Lue has broke, and in his anti-med theories, has come to terms with Fuzzy's ODD and asked that we medicate him. Going from sober to 2 on meds? I guess so. It does not define who they are as people, just might help us through this phase in life, as for Fuzzy, it is hard to be level headed with his only goal is to throw you off from that. And Happy, well it might help her neurological busyness tone down, as the Audiologist said. I am willing to use medication to see progress and hopefully it will be true progress and medication will not be a long-term thing here.
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