BlendedFamilyOneGoal: New Respite Plans

Thursday, May 12, 2011

New Respite Plans

After meeting with a psychologist for Fuzzy, I have again come to terms that respite is okay and is better for our whole family then any snickers of division. People that do not understand what our lives look like and our needs to regroup need not snicker. And if they do, I guess I need to build up that wall.
We are having a new PCA that is interested in respite do a night this weekend. For the first time ever, I am excited because there is no emotional relationship with her and I and so we will get this right the first time, not keep hoping that it works out.
Why doesn't it work out? Because we have felt that the respite used in the past winds up being nothing structured for the kids, and we would like that. Then, our "break" is usually bitter sweet when we realize that they haven't bathed, have icky dirty nails, wrecked clothing and shoes, and other situations that make us feel that the care is not really what we had in mind. This is, and I am so excited. We are going to make it a camp out fun time for them, like a mini vacation...and I can't wait!
I purposely scheduled it for the girls weekend here, but now they likely won't be joining us til Saturday anyhow. They have had lots of drama lately on their time here, so not complaining. Clearly reflects the negativity they are consumed with in their other home. If only we could get them more, but in the mean time we will take what we can get and hope for the best.
So for this I am most excited for the weekend! Fuzzy has been purposely guzzling water to wet through his new pullups because we are having them delivered now from a medical supply company. Then for the 3rd day in a row after "leaking" he lied about the sheets, didn't want them washed!%*#@% if that tells you anything. YikEs!
I am going to valleyfair with Buzzy in June with school, so that will be tons of fun (I really hope because I love that place...please let me enjoy it Buzzy!!) Wishing for this feeling of cheer to continue into the summer when all the kids are home too, not just now at 709 when the 4 have left and the little two are still sawing logs. Have a great day...I know I will!

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Confusing Family Tree or Cartoon Reality?

Buzzy and Fuzzy ages 13 and 14...ready for the world...living in the moment. Possible trauma and rad affects their ability to have realistic outlook to life.

Happy is a walking tickle me elmo. Very resilient, yet following some social skills that look like Fuzzy's ODD. Lost services last year after having them since 18 months. Has most benefited from the constant modeling her sister older by 5 days has provided for her.

Lilme, our apparent model, has her own set of issues, and sometimes the questions of what life would have been without the family dynamics changes we created and allowed. Seems to have some behavioral emotional events and can be pretty demanding.

Lillu is keeping up pretty good and is full of energy. Now we just don't want to wreck it!

Liltoo loves everyone and the balance the baby creates is even better than a pet, she has a magical way of bonding our family and lightening many frustrating moments.

Lulee 10 and Lua 14 are testing the waters of independence as they are primarily raised in an environment we have no control over and infact cringe at some of their everyday.

Lue is one hard working hubby that does great. Doesn't have a relationship with his dad- who Buzzy, Fuzzy, and Happy have also as a biological dad.

Retardo, per Spanish pronunciaton, Lue's dad most recently contacted us saying that he needed 15K in two weeks or he would take Lue to court. Years ago, when they abandoned their fire property, Lue retreived as a gift a totally dismanteled vehicle. By totally dismanteled there was not a screw in place.

Retardo and his wife, Hall, blame us for not letting them see their kids even though the other 3 they have no idea where they are.

Farmers, the family that adopted M & A, after we had our homestudy ready and spent thousands of dollars trying to get them. Thought they were trying to kill M and reported them to SS this summer. Blocked my number and removed me from FB. This is a woman that doesn't even talk to her immediate family, so not ready to have any emotional relationship and or reconciliation attempts. She knew that we would have turned them in. The kid weighed 44# and was nearly 11. Lathargic, on a compromising diet (gluten and dairy free) for behaviors. They said last winter they would check in the morning to see if he had made it, like livestock or something.

The oldest of the 6 kids that got taken from Retardo and Hall is in long term foster care, against our original ideas. We have come to terms with God's plan but look forward to the future to see what type of relationship the kids will be capable of having. They all have significant social, learning, and processing problems that no blood work, mri, or testing can really label. Sometimes a label helps us to better understand what the future holds.