why i am mad

i am mad because i learned that school was letting 8th grade Buzzy, sit around on the computer.
i knew it was happening, and i had made minor comments to the teacher, but was hoping that i was overreacting. the internet is so wide spread these days, and maybe buzzy bounces like any other 15 year old would, and is checking ebay and craislist without their knowledge, but i highly doubt that. plus, what is he supposed to be doing?
the new case manager, at the high school- who probably doesnt realize the weight on her shoulders, because i am so tired of him getting a shitty education. two weeks. and then district change and if i am not happy by christmas i will do that virtual acadmy or something.
the new teacher then, she said it was maybe happening at lunch.
i said that if it cannot be confirmed that he not be making online contact with strangers, essentially targeting himself, then i will not be sending him so i need to know. i am not negotiating this. would you?
this is why:
he sent numerous emails to craigslist people selling phones on craigslist, making offers as low as $3 or up to $20. One person replied and then insulted him because the 20$ offer was for a 500$ phone. He even sent an email on accident to david, and responds to junk mail. Like the facebook account he set up, and he created a new name for internet, a common name- like John. Then opened up various accounts, like with some newspapers and where he gets tons of junk emails. He didn't remember the facebook password and hadn't ever done anything on it. But I told him he should have told me that. Now Fuzzy on the other hand, he even made 7 friends and understands how that works. For him I just changed the password and when they earn the internet back, the 20th, I will consider letting them have a page on their own. I just want to be supervising their activities or contacts- raising vulnerable kids is SO HARD! And people dont really get it until a situation arises and it becomes clear that there is minimal understanding or regard to what may be happening.
Buzzy lies about things and with his memory impairments it makes things tough.
I just don't know if I can handle the boys emotional energy for such constant things, and if they cannot be trusted then how do I keep them safe? There are people that actually hurt retarded people.

Just yesterday our case worker with Lifeworks reminded me of how we are doing the best we can and it is a tough job. Everyone will be just fine. And we are minor to some folks! I might have a 13 year old leak through pull ups and finally after years of my torture, he is being medicated and not doing that as much. I pray that lilman does not have bed wetting issues. They say it runs in the family, but they say that to me knowing that i have always primarily attributing it to the parenting and potty training process. So I can admit that by letting cute lilman sleep soundly and I change his diaper at night is not a good idea. I guess I am thinking when he turns four. He is like a four year old too though, so the diapers need to be done.

So, moving into the new school year, I will be quick to address last years case manager, whom I grew less and less favorable to over working with her the last 2 years. Do I bring this to higher authority attention? Or just be clear to her that Fuzzy also can be choosing other activities and will not be unsupervised to contact strangers either. I just do not feel there is reason to be doing that without both boys having an adult know that it is not targeting them or subjecting them for any recourse. And I am not sure if they will ever understand, so unsure how you could teach that. I do want to be texting with Buzzy, he has an ipod- I facilitated and assisted him in buying that from craigslist. I bet he thinks he is learning from me, poor kid. He just doesn't understand money or has some little glitches in trade/resale/exchange peice.

The different deficits of funciton are visible in various aspects yet, not entirely linked to lack of ability as a whole. Quite complex circuit board registry. Definitly honored to be safeguarding that treasure and their hearts are pure. Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. I do to, I just wish it didn't come with such pain sometimes. The price has been paid, I know I need to be focused on what is right, and that is raising my babies the best I can. For that I am blessed! so i am not mad...just needed to vent!