BlendedFamilyOneGoal: rubbing it in?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

rubbing it in?

not sure if she just doesn't get it, or if it is her way of making pokes at me, but a good friend always seems to question my decisions regarding the level of involvement to social and or academic things for my special needs kids. like i am having my step daughters take private spanish with me and then she is asking if any of the other kids are doing it.
can they even answer a question in english?
can they have a normal conversation in english?
and yet here i go, making excuses and being put on the spot as if i am punishing them or excluding them, when in reality i am the parent and i have decided i am not interested in working on anything more than i already do or HAVE to with them. yeah, like i am going to add bilingualism to their expectations. are you kidding me?!
someday i will defend my rights and turn the finger back to her, as i question the intentions of such statements. basically she doesn't agree with some of the limits i have for parenting expectations to my kids. and she is involved with us, but evidently thinks that i am punishing them for their disability. while really the only one being punished if they were afforded some of these opportunities is me or my budget. i am not going to invest in opportunities when there is such a lack of everyday communication abilities. NOT GOING TO DO IT! i am not sending my boys to youth group retreats because i do not feel, they are at the level to which it is intended and it would cause great anxiety and them to bug out and then i absorb that and it just ISNT WORTH IT! is that fair to them? don't know don't care. when an opportunity becomes a liability i am just not interested. i would have to feel there would be REAL advantages to then commit to that obligation. that is why i am called the mom right? i am in charge! if my boys could make friendships and have real relationships outside of our home i may be more inclined to pay for them to go to social events geared at training them. right now, not on the agenda. if we can figure out elapsed time, maybe i would. whatever, i am just sick of defending my position of non-involvement in certain areas. until you walk my walk and actually live day in and day out- i am not talking about an overnight and the kids playing. i am talking about a power outage or two step directions DAY IN AND DAY OUT WITH NO PROGRESS, you wouldn't spend your time or money on certain things either. so BACK OFF!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Confusing Family Tree or Cartoon Reality?

Buzzy and Fuzzy ages 13 and 14...ready for the world...living in the moment. Possible trauma and rad affects their ability to have realistic outlook to life.

Happy is a walking tickle me elmo. Very resilient, yet following some social skills that look like Fuzzy's ODD. Lost services last year after having them since 18 months. Has most benefited from the constant modeling her sister older by 5 days has provided for her.

Lilme, our apparent model, has her own set of issues, and sometimes the questions of what life would have been without the family dynamics changes we created and allowed. Seems to have some behavioral emotional events and can be pretty demanding.

Lillu is keeping up pretty good and is full of energy. Now we just don't want to wreck it!

Liltoo loves everyone and the balance the baby creates is even better than a pet, she has a magical way of bonding our family and lightening many frustrating moments.

Lulee 10 and Lua 14 are testing the waters of independence as they are primarily raised in an environment we have no control over and infact cringe at some of their everyday.

Lue is one hard working hubby that does great. Doesn't have a relationship with his dad- who Buzzy, Fuzzy, and Happy have also as a biological dad.

Retardo, per Spanish pronunciaton, Lue's dad most recently contacted us saying that he needed 15K in two weeks or he would take Lue to court. Years ago, when they abandoned their fire property, Lue retreived as a gift a totally dismanteled vehicle. By totally dismanteled there was not a screw in place.

Retardo and his wife, Hall, blame us for not letting them see their kids even though the other 3 they have no idea where they are.

Farmers, the family that adopted M & A, after we had our homestudy ready and spent thousands of dollars trying to get them. Thought they were trying to kill M and reported them to SS this summer. Blocked my number and removed me from FB. This is a woman that doesn't even talk to her immediate family, so not ready to have any emotional relationship and or reconciliation attempts. She knew that we would have turned them in. The kid weighed 44# and was nearly 11. Lathargic, on a compromising diet (gluten and dairy free) for behaviors. They said last winter they would check in the morning to see if he had made it, like livestock or something.

The oldest of the 6 kids that got taken from Retardo and Hall is in long term foster care, against our original ideas. We have come to terms with God's plan but look forward to the future to see what type of relationship the kids will be capable of having. They all have significant social, learning, and processing problems that no blood work, mri, or testing can really label. Sometimes a label helps us to better understand what the future holds.