hmph

i am sad that i dont really have any friends that understand me.
i wish that my kids were not so disabled in such quirky ways.
i wonder what my life would be like had i not gotten wrapped up in that guy.
i think most days my life is really painful.
i try to be focused and purposeful but it doesnt always work.
i am crying because i am alone.
i wish that we were not beaten down with special needs.
i wonder what life would be like if people could see my heart and copy that.
i think normal is over ratted, but i long for that.
i try to be fair, but it just isnt the same no matter what.
i am daydreaming of a lesser responsibility time in my life.
i wish that people did things for me sometimes or that i had a mentor.
i wonder who of my kids will be independent adults.
i think for being thirty something i should be able to spell independent, sentence, and receive
i try to make things simple, really, i do
i am sitting in the dark with lue, lilme, and lilone sleeping. the rest are luckily absent.
i wish that i could always be positive and not get drug down with lies and worldly crap.
i wonder if i will get to have friends some day.
i think lue is my best friend but can't remember his blog name, so hope that is right:)
i try to be a light in the darkness and LIGHT PREVAILS!
i am going to be the best mom these kids could ever have.
i wish that my family would continue to bond and blend and build lasting commitments.
i wonder what the gates of heaven will be like. i will wait upon the LORD.
i think too much.
i say too much.
and write?
never.