BlendedFamilyOneGoal: Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Merry Christmas

Sometimes I think that our little Fuzzy acts up around the holidays. They were removed from bio parents, Retardo and Hall, Dec.16 2003. Then put in a shelter, because who wants 6 kids for Christmas? I will someday.

With his cognitive delays though I am not sure if I can give him that much credit either. And he usually is a terd, but around the holidays I feel like I can blame it on something. His ODD shows clear and consistently.

Our Christmas did go well though, it was our first year of celebrating a Christmas birthday for Liltoo and throw in some "violently ill" relatives and we have yet to gather with my maternal side. Christmas gets d-r-a-w-n out for broken families. Some may counter the reality by saying for kids the advantage is double the presents...hmmm...maybe, but either way God did not intent for broken families. The father of lies loves broken families. We will fight til the end that our differences can be accepted and resolved to teach our children what commitment and love is. Our hope is that we will pass the baton to this generation that can understand how to not create broken families.

My pops, after 28 years of sobriety, has fallen off the wagon and is drinking. What a sucker punch. What a tough thing to accept, that this rock of a tough guy, after years and years of standing for something is sipping and sneaking booze. I worked at a sports bar for 5 years and he refused to step foot in there, but he has crumbled and is falling apart.

He is too young for that and my 3 siblings and I are trying to wrap our heads around this and see that he is safe. His wife, bless her heart, seems naive and or borderline enabling to the situation. That he may have had a "slip." He also is showing signs of memory and confusion that I want to urge him to get the Alzheimer test and get treatment if that is happening. His mother is in a memory care unit and is not coherent any longer. The idea of losing my dad and him not knowing me or my kids in a number of years is painful. But then again, such is life. Pain and agony. Brokenness brokenness is what I long for. Brokenness is what I need. Brokenness brokenness is what you want from me. Holiness holiness is what I long for. Holiness is what I need. Holiness holiness is what you want from me. Cleanse me clean me Lord I trust you. May this new year bring the best for all!

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Confusing Family Tree or Cartoon Reality?

Buzzy and Fuzzy ages 13 and 14...ready for the world...living in the moment. Possible trauma and rad affects their ability to have realistic outlook to life.

Happy is a walking tickle me elmo. Very resilient, yet following some social skills that look like Fuzzy's ODD. Lost services last year after having them since 18 months. Has most benefited from the constant modeling her sister older by 5 days has provided for her.

Lilme, our apparent model, has her own set of issues, and sometimes the questions of what life would have been without the family dynamics changes we created and allowed. Seems to have some behavioral emotional events and can be pretty demanding.

Lillu is keeping up pretty good and is full of energy. Now we just don't want to wreck it!

Liltoo loves everyone and the balance the baby creates is even better than a pet, she has a magical way of bonding our family and lightening many frustrating moments.

Lulee 10 and Lua 14 are testing the waters of independence as they are primarily raised in an environment we have no control over and infact cringe at some of their everyday.

Lue is one hard working hubby that does great. Doesn't have a relationship with his dad- who Buzzy, Fuzzy, and Happy have also as a biological dad.

Retardo, per Spanish pronunciaton, Lue's dad most recently contacted us saying that he needed 15K in two weeks or he would take Lue to court. Years ago, when they abandoned their fire property, Lue retreived as a gift a totally dismanteled vehicle. By totally dismanteled there was not a screw in place.

Retardo and his wife, Hall, blame us for not letting them see their kids even though the other 3 they have no idea where they are.

Farmers, the family that adopted M & A, after we had our homestudy ready and spent thousands of dollars trying to get them. Thought they were trying to kill M and reported them to SS this summer. Blocked my number and removed me from FB. This is a woman that doesn't even talk to her immediate family, so not ready to have any emotional relationship and or reconciliation attempts. She knew that we would have turned them in. The kid weighed 44# and was nearly 11. Lathargic, on a compromising diet (gluten and dairy free) for behaviors. They said last winter they would check in the morning to see if he had made it, like livestock or something.

The oldest of the 6 kids that got taken from Retardo and Hall is in long term foster care, against our original ideas. We have come to terms with God's plan but look forward to the future to see what type of relationship the kids will be capable of having. They all have significant social, learning, and processing problems that no blood work, mri, or testing can really label. Sometimes a label helps us to better understand what the future holds.